When I first became a manager, I thought I had to mold my team into versions of myself. I believed that if they thought the way I did, approached problems as I would, and made decisions that aligned with my mindset, we’d be unstoppable. I couldn’t understand why certain people didn’t think the way I did—and honestly, it frustrated me.

But over time, I realized that my approach was flawed. The best teams aren’t built on clones of one person; they thrive on diversity of thought, perspective, and skills. Looking back, I see the mistakes I made, and I want to share them so that new managers can avoid falling into the same trap.

• Mistake #1: Trying to Create Clones of Yourself

  It’s natural to believe that the way you think and work is the best way. After all, it got you into a management role, right? But leadership isn’t about replication—it’s about amplification. When I stopped trying to turn my team into versions of myself and started valuing their unique strengths, everything changed. People work best when they can bring their authentic selves to the table, not when they’re forced to fit into someone else’s mold.

  I remember one particular instance where a team member had a drastically different approach to problem-solving than I did. I was analytical and methodical, while he thrived on quick, intuitive decision-making. Initially, I tried to make him follow my structured approach, but it only stifled his creativity. When I finally let him handle things his way, he not only excelled but also taught me a new way of thinking. That experience cemented my belief that diversity in problem-solving is an asset, not a liability.

• Mistake #2: Expecting Everyone to Think Like You

  Early on, I’d ask myself, “Why don’t they just get it?” I assumed that if something was obvious to me, it should be obvious to everyone. What I failed to recognize was that my experiences, skills, and thought processes were different from theirs. Once I started listening more—genuinely listening—I realized that my team members had insights and ideas that I had never considered. That’s when collaboration truly began.

  I recall working on a high-stakes project where I expected my team to prioritize tasks the way I would. Instead, they had their own methods, and it initially frustrated me. But when I took the time to understand their thought process, I saw that their approach was equally, if not more, effective. That shift from assuming to understanding made all the difference.

• Mistake #3: Ignoring the Strengths of Others

  I used to think my way was the most efficient way. If someone approached a task differently, I’d correct them rather than understand their approach. The moment I shifted from instructing to observing, I saw that people had strengths I lacked. Some were more detail-oriented, some were better at handling conflict, and some had a level of patience I could only dream of. When I embraced their strengths instead of imposing mine, our team became significantly stronger.

  One of the most eye-opening moments for me was when a junior team member pointed out a flaw in my strategy that I had overlooked. Instead of dismissing it, I encouraged them to present an alternative. Their insight not only saved us from a potential issue but also showed me that true leadership means recognizing and leveraging the strengths of others.

• Mistake #4: Not Creating Psychological Safety

  When people feel like they’re expected to conform to their manager’s way of thinking, they stop voicing their opinions. I unknowingly created an environment where people hesitated to challenge me. Once I recognized this, I made a conscious effort to create psychological safety—encouraging different perspectives, openly admitting when I was wrong, and making sure people knew that disagreement was not only welcomed but necessary for growth.

  I remember a meeting where I asked for feedback on a plan I had developed. Initially, no one spoke up. So, I shared an example of a time I had made a wrong decision in the past and emphasized that I valued honest feedback. That simple change led to a flood of valuable input, and from that day on, my team knew their voices mattered.

• Mistake #5: Confusing Agreement with Alignment

  Early on, I thought that a well-functioning team meant everyone was on the same page all the time. But agreement and alignment are not the same. A great team doesn’t always agree, but they respect each other’s differences and move forward with a shared vision. I learned to foster discussions that allowed for disagreement while ensuring that, once a decision was made, we were all committed to it.

  One of the most defining moments in my leadership journey was when two team members had completely opposing views on how to execute a project. Instead of forcing a compromise, I facilitated a discussion where they both laid out their reasoning. In the end, we blended elements of both approaches, resulting in a far stronger solution than if we had blindly followed just one perspective.

How I Became a Better Manager

Realizing my mistakes was the first step. Here’s what helped me improve:

• I became more self-aware – I reflected on why I felt the need for people to think like me and recognized my biases.

• I asked more questions – Instead of assuming my way was best, I sought to understand different perspectives.

• I empowered my team – I let people own their work and make decisions, even if they weren’t the ones I would have made.

• I built trust – By valuing my team’s individuality, they felt more confident in sharing their ideas and pushing back when necessary.

Today, I no longer ask, “Why don’t they think like me?” Instead, I ask, “What can I learn from the way they think?” That simple shift changed everything for me—and it can for you, too.